Sorry Emily Post

There is something inherently wrong with the idea of bringing family and friends together to celebrate a holiday and then attempting to subtly manipulate them for a desired outcome. No disrespect to Ms. Emily Post, Ms. Cohen or Ms. Dvault, but your're contributing to a problem, not providing a solution.

In the recent article in the New York Times entitled “Pass a drumstick, and an olive branch,” Kim Severson quotes these women's suggestions and “tricks” of how to host a Thanksgiving dinner to “create harmony” and “control” the situation. If the desired goal is to concoct some surreal image from a 1950s television show, why not just hire actors? It would be a lot less work and be just as phony as what these experts suggest.

Families have been gathering together since the dawn of time. They laugh, cry, debate, argue, break bread, kiss and makeup. Religion, politics, relationships, careers, family matters and gossip are all good fodder for the occasion. So why are we as a nation so preoccupied with presenting some preconceived notion of how we want to appear to friends, family, or strangers -- regardless of whether it’s true or not. Ever since the 1950s we seem to be a nation obsessed by what the neighbors think, so busy playing make believe that we miss life.

Pretending breeds deception, and that's not good etiquette, it's bad judgment. Life is short, live it. Laugh, cry, argue, and love. If it’s real, its life, if it’s not it’s just posing for the camera.

Symbol of Satan?

And we wonder why the world thinks we’re crazy? In a recent article the president of a homeowners association fired all five of its members for refusing to require that a homeowner remove her holiday wreath. The association president said that three or four residents complained, some saying it was an anti-Iraq war protest while others perceived it as a symbol of Satan.

You have to wonder what goes through the minds of people in this country sometimes. I’m not a fan of religion in general, and I certainly understand people’s objections to a single religion being displayed on or in government or public places. But, when a few residents say a wreath with a peace sign is a symbol of Satan, or an anti war protest, and the president of the homeowners association actually listens, you know things have gotten out of hand.

Perhaps they should be looking closer at the complainers and the president as a threat rather than the wreath. Get a grip people!

Restroom Madness

In a recent article in Newsday, a writer asks for advise on how to deal with a male-to-female transsexual that is in transition at work. The writer, a man, was taken back and uncomfortable when "Karen" exited the men's room.

This is a reverse from the more common complaint of male-to-female transsexuals exiting the ladies room. First of all, it seems to me that this whole thing consumes entirely too much energy from those in the mainstream, the so called "normal" folk. First people complain that the Trans woman can't use the ladies room because she wasn't brn biologically female, and now the men are offended that one is using the men's room. Where should they pee, in the hallway? Come on folks, treat trans people as people, different from you perhaps, but human nonetheless.

Foley and The Priest

Hiding bad behavior and then pushing the blame when caught for it seems too common these days. Senator Foley didn't pursue a young page because he was molested as a child (as he claims). He should be accountable for his actions, period. And the Rev. Anthony Mercieca, who stated that he had a friendship with the then 12 year old Foley; going skinny dipping and giving the young boy massages when unclothed, was also inappropriate. The reverand said that "Once maybe I touched him. It’s not something you call, I mean, rape or penetration or anything like that, you know. We were just fondling.” He said that once, while on tranquilizers, he might have done something that Mr. Foley found inappropriate but that he could not recall the details.

Guys, wake up and smell your stench! The religious right should stop hawking the GLBT community and clean up their mess before telling others how to live.

Not Now --Not Ever?

Stephen Laffey, the mayor of Cranston Rhode Island, who is now a candidate for the Republican nomination for a U.S. Senate seat in Rhode Island, recently stated that he regretted writing homophobic columns for his college newspaper some 20 years ago. He goes on to say that he is sorry he had written the "sophomoric political satire" and that the columns didn't reflect his views "... not now, nor then, or ever."

That is almost as stupid as the famous "yes, but I didn't inhale" comment we heard from our President a few years back. Come on Stephen, be a big boy and face your past. Either that or we are left to beleive that you are a man that makes statements he doesn't mean, which leaves us unable to believe anything you say.

Fear Serves Only Fear

"Ages of experience have taught us that the commitment of a husband and wife to love and to serve one another promotes the welfare of children and the stability of society," president Bush said in his weekly radio address. "Government," he went on "by recognizing and protecting marriage, serves the interests of all."

Is it just me that sees the absurdity of this statement? How could denying equality to one minority under the law serve the interests of all? What president Bush meant it seems is that denying the right of gays to marry serves the interests of every one that thinks like him, and that's not the same thing as what he said.

Teaching tolerance and appreciating the diversity of all things is what we as a society need more of, not laws to prevent it. Teaching our children that we are all equal regardless of race, color, creed, religion, sexual orientation, and gender expression is what will serve the interests of all and not just the fearful right.

Delete if You Disagree

I received an email forward the other day on the immigration issue. It went on and on about America; we have our OWN culture we don't need yours, we have our OWN language we don't need yours, etc, etc. Some of it hit on some points I do agree with, such as learning the national language when you live in another country -- as I have.

However, what I found really odd was the last sentence of the email which said "If you agree pass this on, if you don't delete it."

Why are people so quick to stick to one point of view without open and honest dialogue. People on both sides seem to form their opinions based on the media headlines and then search for things to support their view -- like similar minded rah rah cheerleaders -- rather than review all the facts first, discuss it and then form an opinion.

Blinders For Two

Becasue First Lady Laura Bush doesn't believe the poll numbers doesn't mean that they're not true. But it just shows that the blinders syndrom isn't something her husband alone suffers from.

Politicians Change?

As the world listened to the President's State of The Union, and will now spend days more trying to analyze his words, manner of tone and vision for the furture, I can't help but wonder, "Do politicians really change?" Especially this politician? For good or bad the President has done one thing consistant since he arrived in Washington: stood his ground. The State of the Union is words, not actions, and what a President says is meaningless. It is what he does that counts. Our President's an idealog; a guy trapped in the belief that he alone is right regardless of other opinions. It is a nice trait for a President to be strong, principled and determined. Yet when you combine those qualities with someone who sees the world as he wants it to be rather than what it really is, that kind of dillusional world view is dangerous. So, regardless of what his team wrote for him to say, this is a man that has shown us that while his words may change, his objectives and course of action won't. 2008 can't arrive soon enough.

Come on Mr. Roberston, are you serious?

I said before that Mike Savage was the dumbest smart person around, but maybe I was wrong. Step into the circle Pat Robertson, who recently told the world that Prime Minster Ariel Sharon´s stroke may have been God´s wrath for pulling out of the Gaza strip. After all Mr. Robertson said, ¨God considers this land to be his.¨ Are you serious? Do you really believe that land is important to God? Isn´t it possible that God is just a tad bit beyond territorial land disputes that has plagued man throughout history?

There are 15 million aids orphans worldwide and this is all you can talk about Mr. Robertson? Oh, that´s right, aids is God´s wrath too against gays, wasn´t that what you said once before? And Katrina took out New Orleans because is was a city of sin?

It is sad to me that people can go through life as Mr. Robertson does, in such fear that God is always there like a bad Catholic shccol teacher to smack you down. It seems like the only wrath here on Earth are the ones we unleash on each other, and greatest plagues those of intolerance and narrow mindedness.