Sorry Emily Post

There is something inherently wrong with the idea of bringing family and friends together to celebrate a holiday and then attempting to subtly manipulate them for a desired outcome. No disrespect to Ms. Emily Post, Ms. Cohen or Ms. Dvault, but your're contributing to a problem, not providing a solution.

In the recent article in the New York Times entitled “Pass a drumstick, and an olive branch,” Kim Severson quotes these women's suggestions and “tricks” of how to host a Thanksgiving dinner to “create harmony” and “control” the situation. If the desired goal is to concoct some surreal image from a 1950s television show, why not just hire actors? It would be a lot less work and be just as phony as what these experts suggest.

Families have been gathering together since the dawn of time. They laugh, cry, debate, argue, break bread, kiss and makeup. Religion, politics, relationships, careers, family matters and gossip are all good fodder for the occasion. So why are we as a nation so preoccupied with presenting some preconceived notion of how we want to appear to friends, family, or strangers -- regardless of whether it’s true or not. Ever since the 1950s we seem to be a nation obsessed by what the neighbors think, so busy playing make believe that we miss life.

Pretending breeds deception, and that's not good etiquette, it's bad judgment. Life is short, live it. Laugh, cry, argue, and love. If it’s real, its life, if it’s not it’s just posing for the camera.

Symbol of Satan?

And we wonder why the world thinks we’re crazy? In a recent article the president of a homeowners association fired all five of its members for refusing to require that a homeowner remove her holiday wreath. The association president said that three or four residents complained, some saying it was an anti-Iraq war protest while others perceived it as a symbol of Satan.

You have to wonder what goes through the minds of people in this country sometimes. I’m not a fan of religion in general, and I certainly understand people’s objections to a single religion being displayed on or in government or public places. But, when a few residents say a wreath with a peace sign is a symbol of Satan, or an anti war protest, and the president of the homeowners association actually listens, you know things have gotten out of hand.

Perhaps they should be looking closer at the complainers and the president as a threat rather than the wreath. Get a grip people!