Sorry Emily Post

There is something inherently wrong with the idea of bringing family and friends together to celebrate a holiday and then attempting to subtly manipulate them for a desired outcome. No disrespect to Ms. Emily Post, Ms. Cohen or Ms. Dvault, but your're contributing to a problem, not providing a solution.

In the recent article in the New York Times entitled “Pass a drumstick, and an olive branch,” Kim Severson quotes these women's suggestions and “tricks” of how to host a Thanksgiving dinner to “create harmony” and “control” the situation. If the desired goal is to concoct some surreal image from a 1950s television show, why not just hire actors? It would be a lot less work and be just as phony as what these experts suggest.

Families have been gathering together since the dawn of time. They laugh, cry, debate, argue, break bread, kiss and makeup. Religion, politics, relationships, careers, family matters and gossip are all good fodder for the occasion. So why are we as a nation so preoccupied with presenting some preconceived notion of how we want to appear to friends, family, or strangers -- regardless of whether it’s true or not. Ever since the 1950s we seem to be a nation obsessed by what the neighbors think, so busy playing make believe that we miss life.

Pretending breeds deception, and that's not good etiquette, it's bad judgment. Life is short, live it. Laugh, cry, argue, and love. If it’s real, its life, if it’s not it’s just posing for the camera.